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A big hi and hello to all of you out there! Thank you for stopping by Jenny Sun Photography's blog! This is my brand new blog space! So please make yourself at home, and have a good browse around. There is plenty more to come so check back often :) Just in case any of you are wondering who on earth I am, my name is Jenny Sun. I own a photography company that spans across Australia and Malaysia, particularly in the Sydney and Kuala Lumpur regions respectively. Though I'm not restricted to those areas! :) I love photographing just about anything under the sun, but my particular passion is for weddings and portraits - I seriously LOVE people, their stories, the beautiful relationships formed, and the tales that are told when that shutter goes off!

This blog is my personal and visual journey along this path of photography. Please hop on board the ride, comment along the way (I shamelessly love comments!), and lets see where the wind takes us :)

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Looking in

Her eyes bore into his face, searching for hints of reassurance. Not knowing what they would discover, they searched and searched as if looking and waiting for a court verdict that would have lifelong consequences.

You can and will be able to do it.

Are you sure? Like, really really sure? You can't just say that for the sake of saying it.

I know you will make it. I know you will do it.

She smiled, and an unfamiliar breath of light relief impressed upon her uncertainties. She knew a long road was awaiting her feet to take flight on, without the clarity and resolution she so craved, however she decided to reaffirm in her mind that this would be an adventure, flirting with fate almost...and not some foolish impulse.

But for tonight, she had decided to stop negotiating with her doubts, and to trust his few but confident words... but more importantly to trust God. To have faith in the one who put her on this journey.

Echoes of the past and the present have been swimming in my head during the past few weeks. The above conversation has not been a single occurence...dejavu has visited me on numerous occasions. After reflecting, and then upon stumbling upon another lady photographer's work in the process whom has really inspired me to let loose and just be me and not be afraid to show it, I thought before I post further entries showcasing photography work, I would anchor these floating contemplations down.

This entry will touch on a slightly more personal note, however I felt it appropriate to share how I felt when plunging myself into this industry. It might give you an interesting insight into the girl behind the lens. You have been warned ;) And don't worry, these posts wont be too frequent.

Like a little child learning how to ride her bike on the road, without the training wheels for the first time, fear and uncertainty were common friends of mine. When I first decided to take the dive into photography, and transition my status from hobbyist to business woman, I can tell you it was one of the scariest things I have ever done. Sirens were wailing in my head day after day, questioning if the choice I made was a stupid one. You see, I am a person that loves the certain, I love plans, checklists and concrete strategies... I love reason and logic (ironic! I know! Considering I come from a graphic design background!) - so to take a chance to do something that I loved, but had little professional experience in, was a huge thing for me!

I was questioning myself, those around me, and God, day after day, whether I should have pursued what has always just been an aloof dream in my mind. Is it ok to chase after an unconventional dream? Is it ok to work and not earn week-in-week-out expected income? Do I have what it takes? Am I talented enough? Do I even have talent? Will I really stand out or make an impact in this heavily populated industry? Will people like me? There were days when I really felt I had made the most colossal mistake of my life... when my email inbox sat lone and empty, when the feedback on my work was also painstakingly thin... and the jobs just weren't coming in no matter how much I was putting myself out there.

BUT, you know what? God provides. He really does!! I'm not saying this to promote some ridiculous 'prosperity' gospel that this world so loves to chew up. I'm saying it because from my 25-year reality so far, God really has!! Not always in the ways I imagine, and that is not to say I've always gotten what I wanted, BUT He does provide and gives us what is best for us. Just like a parent doesn't always give their child lollies all the time because it can become bad for them, well its the same concept :) I eventually met friends who inspired me and their generosity in sharing their knowledge encouraged me to not only keep pursueing this elusive desire in my heart, but also remind myself to share with others too - for what goes around comes around. Then, the feedback I needed and the jobs also started to just fall in my lap... I was floored!

It didn't come without pitfalls though... Gosh, there were days where I felt like I wanted the whole world to swallow me up because of mistakes I had made - I am a perfectionist to a tee, you see - I love making things perfect, and delivering perfection when I know its attainable... Yet those roadbloacks I got given, and the nerves suffered on-the-job-in-a-new-scene make you better and stronger as a result. I think the gain you get from one mistake far outweighs 10 jobs done with perfection. And the doubts? They eventually fade :) Though not gone... I still get visits from them every now and again, but with the help of wonderful friends, family, and amazingly warm clients (you guys who have used me in the past and future are JUST THE BEST!) whom embrace my work so generously, I can smile and move on and do what I love doing. I know I'm not 'there' yet, but there is definitely alot more hope now rather than anticipated disappointment.

So what you say? Well, what I am saying is... I don't regret a single thing on my relatively short journey so far despite the beginnings and occasional lack of faith I harbour in the present. I love what I do, in its own special way it breathes life into my daily brief existence here on this planet, and in the process I have met some wonderful people. I thank God for everything along this journey - the highs AND the lows, the victories AND the mistakes. For it really is about the journey and not the destination right? (haha, don't shoot me for spilling out such cliched fluff, but I do mean it!!)

Anyway, this is not meant to be one of those cliched 'believe in your dreams, no matter what you can do it' catch cries. I'm not selling you that because I know I'm incredibly lucky to do what I do - and that not everyone gets their dreams depsite all their passion and belief. In my very long-winded way (yes, those that know me know that I sometimes talk too much :p), it was meant to eventually turn into a thank you post :)

SO, I want to take this opportunity to thank some great photographers (and friends!) who have been SO willing to share their knowledge with me, which in turn has really inspired me in more ways than one - I am a better person and photographer as a result....

But I also REALLY want to thank those angels that God has put into my life - these people I am indebted to for supporting my dreams, and pushing me to go further than where I believed I could go, not letting me wallow in my disappointments, and for just believing in me - having THAT faith in me, which is more than I have in myself somedays. I honestly cannot find the words to adequately express the gratitute I feel for what you have done in your own little AND big ways. Everything I have done and has happened, and will happen in the future with regards to my photography work will always trace its finger back to you. You all know who you are :)

And thank You mostly to God, for not letting me forget that besides passion, ability, motivation and ambition to make it in this insanely saturated industry, I need to trust You first and foremost, and to have faith in You in all things, all times... to wait upon Your provision and sovereingty amidst it all (and I'm NOT just referring to photography now). Thank you for letting me do what I love (I know it is a blessing every day that I think about it, and I know that what I have and have been given are not my own), but more importantly, thank You for hanging onto me, tigher than I hold onto you - I love and need You more than life itself :)